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How I Build My Own Website In Just 3 Days

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Goon Teng
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Joined: June 24th, 2022, 10:42 am

How I Build My Own Website In Just 3 Days

Post by Goon Teng »

Hello everyone,

I just started out as a freelance copywriter and did my own website for my first project.

I was wondering if anybody would take 5 minutes to look through it and give me a review?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
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SARubin
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Re: How I Build My Own Website In Just 3 Days

Post by SARubin »

Hello Goon Teng, I just visited your website and I have one piece of advice for you right away...

For starters, I like the conversational tone of your page because it seems sincere.

But your message needs to exude more confidence.

I realize you're just starting out, and I applaud for for taking a big first step, Goon Teng.
And I also know how hard It can be to feel confident when you're unsure of your abilities, but the tone of your copy is going to chase a lot of people away.

Since your home page doesn't have much copy, (at least at the time I'm writing this) I'm only looking at your "about" page right now...

The first thing you say in the very first sentence is

Hello, I'm Goon Teng.
You probably think that I'm a scam, but I'll shed some light on why my service is CURRENTLY free


The big problem with starting that way is...
I didn't land on your page thinking you were a scam, but you immediately planted the idea in my head, and now I'm wondering if you are one.

That's not a good seed to plant in the opening sentence of your copy.

You might be able to use that type of sentence later in the copy (maybe), after you build some credibility. You may be able to use it to address a possible concern your reader has.

But your Headline and opening lede needs to pull people into your copy... not immediately put doubts in their head.

And this part halfway down the page where you say "Now you may ask: "But why would it be free though?"

Answer: Because I'm starting off and I treat this as practice. What better way to practice than to keep doing it? Besides, you wouldn't pay someone that doesn't get results, right?


Here you say it's free because I wouldn't pay someone who doesn't get results...
... And you're giving it away for free...
... So you basically just told me you don't get results.

Can you see the problem with that type of message?

And a couple sentences later you say My work for now is, at best, garbage in a golden color trash bag

Unless you're selling to trash collectors, don't say your work is garbage. Nobody else wants your garbage.


My best recommendation for you right now is to keep the conversational tone in your copy (that part is good), and make your message more uplifting. Tell people more about the good things you'll do for them, and less about why they "shouldn't" hire you.

Hope that helps.

All the best,
Steve
A good marketer knows how to think like a marketer - A great marketer learns how to think like the customer...
SARubin - Direct Response Copywriter / Conversion Flow Specialist
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