Just looking for some critique

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Harry_Buck
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Just looking for some critique

Post by Harry_Buck »

Hey, I’m fairly new to the copywriting scene and so far I’ve just been doing some practice I haven’t gone looking for any employment yet.

I was doing a practice B2C email attempting to sell EV chargers from a solar installation company.

So this is the email and hopefully you can have a read when you have the time:)

These are the 3 best EV chargers recommended by experts with 10+ years of experience right now!

Hey XXXX!

How are you doing?

Lets start from the beginning…

You have an electric car and it’s a pain to find places on the road so it would be good to have an EV charger of your own right?

But I can already imagine the problems - ‘which one should I get?’, ‘Does this one work for my car’, ‘Which ones are the best?’

Well I can answer the first two very easily for you. All EV chargers will work for your car and either voltage will work and if you are willing to spend some money then the 22kwh EV charger will charge your car much quicker.

Bang! Done. Your welcome, thank me later.
And now onto the final question, there are many brands and types of chargers you can get. You have a wide variety of choices in front of you but after discussions with Deege Solar electricians and installers and much research I can tell you that these 3 are some of the best in the industry right now.

Project EV

The Project EV is an OLEV approved car charger which lucky for you, when installed by an accredited solar installer like the ones at Deege Solar, gives you a grant of up to £350

If you already have solar panels installed then you can use excess energy stored by the solar panels to charge your car

The Project EV can be remotely controlled by the project EV app which will allow you to monitor your charging progress on your phone, schedule departure times and give other access to use it.

The built-in earthing arrangement and new RCD inspection chamber means that you will have no extras and groundworks costs to add to your list.

The project EV provides full over/under temperature protection for any electrical circuits and is very capable of intelligent power adjustments and also emergency power stops

Eassee EV Charger

The Eassee charger can be installed at reduced costs and time making it a very attractive
option for electric car owners

3 cars can be charged all from one fuse making this Eassee charger very optimal for people who own two cars

You are guaranteed a 3 year warranty after installing the charger

Its universal, it fits all types of electric cars

The model is 69% smaller than other solutions and only weighs 1.5 kg making it very easy to move around and doesn’t take up much room

Myenergi Zapper EV Charger

The Zappie has 3 different modes you can put them in - eco, eco+ and FAST. Eco charges at the bare minimum it takes to charge a car, eco+ charges when you have excess solar energy and fast charges at the normal rate
You can remotely change your charging settings when you use the Myenergi app making it very easy to adjust and can also monitor your energy usage around the house i.e. solar panels, battery storage and even hot tubs

Myenergi zapper is compatible with all types of electric cars as well as solar panels!

Zappi’s dynamic loading balance brings down the power to your EV when your house energy levels get to close to the main fuse limit ensuring its safety preventing it to trip

It is designed to work alongside battery solutions and power diverters which allow you to prioritize your smart devices!


Well then, those are my top 3 EV chargers out right now

All three of them are being offered at great prices on Deege Solar so if you really need an EV charger then I can promise you that these experts can definitely help you and will get you the EV charger best for you.

I thank you for your time, I hope this email has given you an idea of where to look for a good EV charger

Have a great day!
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Franklin
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Re: Just looking for some critique

Post by Franklin »

I think it looks good. Maybe a bit long for an average email. Especially the subject line, it will probably get cut-off (truncated) after 60 characters for most people's email readers. Even shorter on smartphones.

But for the right list your email should get engagement and clicks. !3
“There are 3 kinds of people in this world. Those who can count, and those who can't”
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Harry_Buck
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Re: Just looking for some critique

Post by Harry_Buck »

Franklin wrote: July 9th, 2023, 3:54 pm I think it looks good. Maybe a bit long for an average email. Especially the subject line, it will probably get cut-off (truncated) after 60 characters for most people's email readers. Even shorter on smartphones.

But for the right list your email should get engagement and clicks. !3
Oh wow thanks! Sorry I took a while to get back I had some stuff pop up. Do you have any hints on how to make my subject line more impactful with less words?
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Franklin
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Re: Just looking for some critique

Post by Franklin »

Harry_Buck wrote: July 11th, 2023, 3:32 pm Oh wow thanks! Sorry I took a while to get back I had some stuff pop up. Do you have any hints on how to make my subject line more impactful with less words?
Hard to say what would be more impactful because I don't know your market, but fewer words might look like

"These are the 3 best EV chargers recommended by top experts"

It has fewer words, with the same meaning, and it doesn't make it any less impactful.
“There are 3 kinds of people in this world. Those who can count, and those who can't”
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Harry_Buck
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Re: Just looking for some critique

Post by Harry_Buck »

Franklin wrote: July 11th, 2023, 5:56 pm
Harry_Buck wrote: July 11th, 2023, 3:32 pm Oh wow thanks! Sorry I took a while to get back I had some stuff pop up. Do you have any hints on how to make my subject line more impactful with less words?
Hard to say what would be more impactful because I don't know your market, but fewer words might look like

"These are the 3 best EV chargers recommended by top experts"

It has fewer words, with the same meaning, and it doesn't make it any less impactful.
Ahhh I see alright!

Thank you so much this helps a lot!
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jaycomposerharp
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Re: Just looking for some critique

Post by jaycomposerharp »

You've got a good grasp on the B2C vibe, especially with selling EV chargers. My tip? Keep it snappy and engaging. Maybe break up the info a bit more and throw in some punchy lines to keep the reader hooked. !3
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nehakakar
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Re: Just looking for some critique

Post by nehakakar »

I’ll work on making the subject line more impactful and aim to keep the content snappy and engaging. I appreciate the tips.
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