Lift Email

[Srishty]

Hey folks! This is my first Lift Email Copy as a practice piece. It would be extremely helpful if you could share your feedback on this. Thank you so much

[SARubin]

Hey Srishty ,

I think it looks pretty good. You're getting better with every try.

Now you can try to tighten it up a little bit.

Every good copywriter knows the value of editing. Whenever I write something I always set it aside for a while, then I come back to it later and see if I can edit out at least 10 to 15 percent.
I don't think in 30 years I've ever not been able to edit something from the first draft.

I'll bet you can edit out 10 to 15 percent of your copy and make it flow a lot smoother.

I'll get you started...

In your opening lede you have,

We're inviting you to probably one of our craziest BLACK FRIDAY
DEAL by far tonight!
Cause starting from tonight, you can lock your access on all of our
copywriting training programs at a 75% discount

Drop the word "probably", it's an unnecessary hedge word. Plus it's awkward in this sentence and it creates a speed bump in the reading flow.
Also, drop the first "tonight", it's not needed to make the point. And while we're at it, I'd change the second one to "right now" (it's more urgent sounding).

So, with a little editing, this opening could read...

We're inviting you to one of our craziest BLACK FRIDAY
DEALS by far!
Cause starting right now, you can lock in your access on all of our
copywriting training programs at a huge 75% discount

This is just an example, but editing a couple words tightens it up a bit without losing any of the impact.

Remember, every good copywriter knows that editing the copy is just as important as writing it.

Hope this helps...

All the best,
Steven

[Srishty]

Hi Steven! I really appreciate you for taking out your time and giving your valuable feedback here. This is really helpful! Keeping in mind what you said, I've made changes. There are 2 drafts here. Please have a quick look and let me know which one looks better. Thanks a lot!