Hi there, I'm practicing my email copywriting but need some feedback.

[elevatedigitalAM]

Subject Line: I Tried Everything, All They Said Was “Just Eat More”

So yesterday I was on the phone talking to an old friend from my home area, his names Luke. Luke always had this problem in his life. He’s what we use to call a “stick man” back in the day.

He had always been skinny, so skinny he would of had to have been one of the skinniest people in our grade, and ontop of that he couldn’t for the life of him put on weight no matter what he did.

He hated being skinny, the way other guys would disrespect him, or think of him as “low threat” and try to walk all over him. He lacked a presence when he walked in the room and worst of all, his crushes and women he liked never wanted to be with someone who was so skinny and hardly even a man.


Luke was a nice guy, he was smart and had brains in his head. But he couldn’t for the life of him work out how to gain weight.

He did weight lifting.

He tried eating fast food as much as he could.

He even told me for weeks he use to walk around his house with a tub of ice-cream scooping out scoops of icecream and eating them all throughout his day in an attempt to put on some weight.

To put simply, he tried everything.

No matter what he did, nothing seemed to work, he went to multiple personal trainers and when he told them about his problem all they said was “Just eat more.”

This just made him furious, he had been eating more. Eating so much more he hardly had anytime left in his day.

Yesterday when I was talking to Luke, He said he’d changed his body. I didn’t believe him, I thought again I’m going to see that guy and he’s going to a the biggest stick man I’ll ever see.

I was shocked!

He sent me a selfie and then we got on a zoom call.

This guy was Jacked!

Like broad shoulders, huge forearms, neck muscles that looked like they could pull a car.

Naturally I asked him: “What the hell happened to you Luke, You’re Huge!”

He simply said that for the past 5-7 months he’d been following a dieting and training plan he’d found online.

He said the personal trainers were use to training people with normal metablisms and that they didn’t understand his “Ectomorphic” body and how he needed to train differently and eat differently.

I was honestly shocked. Luke was one of the skinniest guys I knew for most of my life, and nowadays he looked like one of those fitness guys on instagram.

He had told me he’d been dating a new women, he’d gotten a new management position at his office job. He swears he thinks it’s because of how jacked he is, naturally people wanted to be managed by him then a weedy desk jockey with most probably low testosterone.

When I asked him how this change happened and what he’d found online.

He told me this: “I found a course online that specialised in training and dieting specifically for “Hard gainers and people who struggled to put on weight.”

He said that the person who had made the course had the same struggles as him and spent over a decade trying to change his body and put on weight.

He said the course was called “The Skinny Guys Body Building Guide to Building Muscle FAST!”

Since then I’ve gone over the course myself, and can I say it is a game changer.

If you don’t believe or think “I’ve tried everything, They’re just going to tell me to… Just Eat More.” Then you are soarly mistaken.

Take a look here and find out for yourself:
Link
Link

Cheer’s
Andrew

[Franklin]

I like the way you begin your email, like you're writing to a friend and telling a story

The only critique I have is that it gets a little bit long winded. Maybe you can trim some of the fat, so to speak, and edit out a couple of the repetitive sentences. Other than that, as long as you're sending it to people with an “Ectomorphic” body condition it should resonate good.