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Critique my copy

Want some feedback on your copy? Then post it here (who knows... you just might get some good advice)
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ddv
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Critique my copy

Post by ddv »

Hello, i made a copy for social media after some hours of research about copywriting.
Give me please a piece of advice about what i can do better and anything you think will be usefull for me as a beginner.
The product it's a shake that can replace a bad meal for people who want to lose weight.


💸FREE DELIVERY if you order NOW 💸

📲 0123456789 | 📧 dsada@gmail.com

❓ Do you start the day wasting time on an UNHEALTHY breakfast that ruins your PHYSICAL SHAPE? ❓

❗After a year of using the meal replacement SHAKE, me and my customers are UNRECOGNISABLE!❗

🍹Take the SHAKE and drink it while you starting your day. It contains the necessary protein and fiber from a meal, without unnecessary fats. It can replace one or two meals a day. 💯

🎁 Order NOW if you want the benefits and the FREE DELIVERY NOW! 🎁
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Franklin
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Re: Critique my copy

Post by Franklin »

Are you adding any images to this ad?

I ask because you use the word "UNRECOGNISABLE" which can mean different things depending on context. It might mean the shake turned you into an UNRECOGNISABLE hairy beast with warts on your face :mrgreen:

A before and after picture of someone being fat, then skinny, can show people UNRECOGNISABLE is a good thing.
ddv wrote: August 25th, 2022, 4:05 pm Hello, i made a copy for social media after some hours of research about copywriting.
Give me please a piece of advice about what i can do better and anything you think will be usefull for me as a beginner.
The product it's a shake that can replace a bad meal for people who want to lose weight.


💸FREE DELIVERY if you order NOW 💸

📲 0123456789 | 📧 dsada@gmail.com

❓ Do you start the day wasting time on an UNHEALTHY breakfast that ruins your PHYSICAL SHAPE? ❓

❗After a year of using the meal replacement SHAKE, me and my customers are UNRECOGNISABLE!❗

🍹Take the SHAKE and drink it while you starting your day. It contains the necessary protein and fiber from a meal, without unnecessary fats. It can replace one or two meals a day. 💯

🎁 Order NOW if you want the benefits and the FREE DELIVERY NOW! 🎁
“If ignorance is bliss, there should be more happy people in this world.”
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SARubin
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Re: Critique my copy

Post by SARubin »

Hello ddv,

It looks OK for a first try.
But if you're selling weight loss products, or health supplements, you're up against a ton of competition. Especially on social media.

That said, here's a couple thing you can think about which should help you tighten up the focus of your advertising...


First... I don't see you mentioning the name of your product.

Is this a well known product where you can use the brand name for recognition, to give credibility to your claims?
If it is, then you should use the name so people feel more comfortable trusting your product.

Or do you have a large following on social, so people already trust you?


Another quick question...

Are you targeting a specific target market? Like single moms over 40 - or 20 something year old professionals - or older people with a specific health issue?

If you are then you can call them out right at the beginning of the ad to help catch their attention.


Those are just a couple things you can think about while you're writing your ads.

Of course the only way to know for sure if your ad is any good is to get it in front of people and see if they respond.

If they respond, it's good... If they don't respond, it's not good.

Have you tried putting this ad in front of people yet? What were the results so far?
A good marketer knows how to think like a marketer - A great marketer learns how to think like the customer...
SARubin - Direct Response Copywriter / Conversion Flow Specialist
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