Please rate this email and critique it

[dhananjay]

Get Our New Amazing Earphones

Hii name,
I’m so excited to tell you that we are going to launch our AZ earphones next week with almost the best features you can ever get on any earphones
In this earphone you will get
• 60 hrs playtime
• Ultra-fast 20 mins charge time
• Unimaginable bass
• Immersive 3D sound experiences
You are going to get this in the next week, but we have a surprise for you
Our premium customers can get them before everyone and enjoy the listening experience before the crowd
Click here to Grab it now and be the first to get this earphone in just 25$
You can place order today for them and get them in just 7 days and use them when we launch it for public
This is all we can do for you today but don’t worry we are going launch some cool things soon
So, stay connected
Your fellow music enjoyer
XX
P.S. – I have a gift for you use this code AAAA to get 10% discount the Earphones

[SARubin]

You're getting better than you were just a few short weeks ago, dhananjay.

But copywriting, the kind that brings in the money, is less about knowing how to write, and more about knowing "what" to write.

And what to write, starts with understanding what your reader wants most of all. And what every reader wants to know is...

Why should I pay attention to you? And what is your product going to do for me?

Let's see if we can turn some of those features into benefits for your reader. I wrote down a few notes for you to look over and think about (the parts in red). We won't talk about typos or syntax right now, let's just talk about features and benefits for your reader.

Also, try spacing the copy out a little more, to make it easier to look at and read. Big blocks of text turn most people away because it's too hard to read on a screen, and we want to make it as easy as possible for our readers.


Get Our New Amazing Earphones

Hii name,
I’m so excited to tell you that we are going to launch our AZ earphones next week with almost the best features you can ever get on any earphones (drop the word "almost" in this sentence. Show more confidence in your product)

In this earphone you will get

(expand on your bullet points. Turn those features into benefits. Show your reader what's in it for them so they don't have to think about it too hard to figure it out themselves)

• 60 hrs playtime which means longer listening pleasure for you

• Ultra-fast 20 mins charge time so you'll be back listening to your favorite music, podcast, or audio-book in no time

• Unimaginable bass for deep rich tones that you can feel

• Immersive 3D sound experiences feels like you're sitting in the same room as the band you're listening to



Other than that, I have to ask you a quick question, dhananjay...

What copywriting books have you read so far? Have you studied any of the classics from the master copywriters of old?
If not, let me know. Maybe I can send you a PDF (book) that can give you a better idea of what good advertising is really all about.

Get Our New Amazing Earphones

Hii name,
I’m so excited to tell you that we are going to launch our AZ earphones next week with almost the best features you can ever get on any earphones
In this earphone you will get
• 60 hrs playtime
• Ultra-fast 20 mins charge time
• Unimaginable bass
• Immersive 3D sound experiences
You are going to get this in the next week, but we have a surprise for you
Our premium customers can get them before everyone and enjoy the listening experience before the crowd
Click here to Grab it now and be the first to get this earphone in just 25$
You can place order today for them and get them in just 7 days and use them when we launch it for public
This is all we can do for you today but don’t worry we are going launch some cool things soon
So, stay connected
Your fellow music enjoyer
XX
P.S. – I have a gift for you use this code AAAA to get 10% discount the Earphones

[dhananjay]

Thanks for helping I will improve my copy using this

I have read Copywriting secrets by Jim Edwards and I'm currently reading Adweek Copywriting book

[SARubin]

Thanks for helping I will improve my copy using this

I have read Copywriting secrets by Jim Edwards and I'm currently reading Adweek Copywriting book

Ah yes, those are both good books. Joe Sugarman is one of my favorite copywriters. He was brilliant at getting people to read the first line of copy, then the next line, then the next... And just getting people to read the copy is 80% of the challenge.

I'm going to send you one more book you can read. It's titled "How to Write a Good Advertisement" by a man named Victor O. Schwab, and it's practically an entire copywriting course in a single book.

I'll attach it to a PM so you can download it whenever you want...