Copywriters Forum

Hey all,

I go by DesignKIng. I'm starting a web design business and want to be sure my copy is on-point.

I'll admit, my market research was done haphazardly, but I'm willing to continue doing more (for a quick start, I asked OpenAI ChatGPT for some of the biggest frustrations that clients have with web designers, some reddit research, some research in industry forums, and my own experience with a few clients).

Overall, I think the flow is coming together but is still incomplete: headline > lede (feels incomplete) > objections/comparisons > beliefs > (poor transition?) features/benefits > testimonials (still need transition and some more lede) > contact (more lede) > footer

Can someone rip this page's copy a new one? Am I off to a decent start? Not too sure about the angle I'm taking, but I just need to get this thing launched already (been obsessing over it for weeks...perfectionism).

https://app-64e611d2c1ac185030f00774.closte.com/

Hey Designking,

I just took a look at your site and it looks OK (of course I'm assuming you're going to finish it and make all those navigation links go somewhere)

As far as the copy goes? It's not terrible, but it's kind of generic. So my first question would be, who is your target market?
Are you going after new businesses that don't have a website yet? Or established businesses that do have a website and could use an upgrade?

Because generally speaking we want a slightly different message for different markets.

And how are you going to drive traffic to this page? Because the pre-sell can also make a difference in how people respond to your copy.


The headline you have is fine "Fast, clean, and responsive websites that sell for you 24/7/365" tells people what you can do for them, and anyone looking to have a website built immediately knows they came to the right place.


As far as the opening lede, there is one thing I would change right away. I'd drop the part highlighted below.

I get it, you're trying to repel people who aren't a good fit, and that's a good idea. But I'd at least move that further down the page, to start out with a more positive, benefit driven opening lede.

We get it.
Finding a competent web designer that understands your business is enough to make your head spin.
It seems like they all make the same promises.
How are you supposed to know which one is right for you?
Only you can answer that, but what we can tell you is this…

You probably won't consider us a good fit if:
...you want a "do-it-yourself" solution, or
…you want the cheapest solution.

If you want someone who:
…gets the job done right and on-schedule…
…is professional and walks you through every step of the process…
…takes the time and energy to understand the ins-and-outs of your business, goals, industry, competitors, and market…

…then read on…

One more thing is your call to action down at the bottom. You have "Speak with our sales team and find out if our solution is right for you."

Don't call them a "sales team" because that says high pressure sales pitch to most people.

Instead call them professionals, or consultants, or professional web designers. Terms like these say we're here to help you, we're not just here to sell you something.

Also, don't forget to put the word free on that button so it says "schedule my free consultation"

There's a few other things I'd do different also, but that goes into the realm of just different styles and personality, so no critique there.

Hope that helps.

All the best,
Steve

Oh yeah, also make sure you use the word "Guarantee" somewhere. Near the beginning, and near the call to action are good places to put people's minds at ease by letting them know you stand behind your work with a guarantee.

SARubin wrote: ↑November 17th, 2023, 3:35 pmI just took a look at your site and it looks OK (of course I'm assuming you're going to finish it and make all those navigation links go somewhere)

Thanks, yes that's the plan. The initial launch will be with no nav (will just be it's own landing page), but after launch I'll be adding project pages showcasing my client work in-depth.

SARubin wrote: ↑November 17th, 2023, 3:35 pmSo my first question would be, who is your target market? Are you going after new businesses that don't have a website yet? Or established businesses that do have a website and could use an upgrade?

Ideal client is an established business since they can provide better intel for me to build to spec than someone just starting out can. They likely also have better cash flow/investment to pay for service. But I am willing to build sites for new businesses if the big picture looks good on them.

SARubin wrote: ↑November 17th, 2023, 3:35 pmAnd how are you going to drive traffic to this page? Because the pre-sell can also make a difference in how people respond to your copy.

Initially word-of-mouth, referrals, and non-paid social media promotions like IG stories, TikTok, etc.. Eventually when cash flow allows, I want to run paid ads to it.

SARubin wrote: ↑November 17th, 2023, 3:35 pmThe headline you have is fine "Fast, clean, and responsive websites that sell for you 24/7/365" tells people what you can do for them, and anyone looking to have a website built immediately knows they came to the right place.

Thanks! I was hoping it was straight-forward. I decided on it based on guidelines from the Storybrand framework, only I was hoping to structure in such a way that it specifically targets service-based businesses (as opposed to ecommerce, not interested in that at this time).

SARubin wrote: ↑November 17th, 2023, 3:35 pmAs far as the opening lede, there is one thing I would change right away. I'd drop the part highlighted below.

I get it, you're trying to repel people who aren't a good fit, and that's a good idea. But I'd at least move that further down the page, to start out with a more positive, benefit driven opening lede.


You probably won't consider us a good fit if:
...you want a "do-it-yourself" solution, or
…you want the cheapest solution.

Yeah, I was iffy about that and so were some folks I showed it to. Thanks, I'll move it closer to the CTA at the bottom of the page. Perhaps I'll make a pricing section of some sort where I give something like "Typical projects start from $X,000 and go up from there depending on scope" or something like that. Either that, or I'll leave it as-is but lower on the page like you suggested.

SARubin wrote: ↑November 17th, 2023, 3:35 pmOne more thing is your call to action down at the bottom. You have "Speak with our sales team and find out if our solution is right for you."

Don't call them a "sales team" because that says high pressure sales pitch to most people.

Instead call them professionals, or consultants, or professional web designers. Terms like these say we're here to help you, we're not just here to sell you something.

Also, don't forget to put the word free on that button so it says "schedule my free consultation"

Thanks! Never considered this, but I'll make that change ASAP.

SARubin wrote: ↑November 17th, 2023, 3:35 pmOh yeah, also make sure you use the word "Guarantee" somewhere. Near the beginning, and near the call to action are good places to put people's minds at ease by letting them know you stand behind your work with a guarantee.

I need to figure out what that guarantee will be. At this very moment, I am inexperienced with paid traffic, and am only decent with off-page SEO, so can't guarantee that at this time. I could guarantee that:

• the website will be scalable and not a nightmare to deal with over the long-term
• it looks fantastic on every device

But ideally, I want my guarantee to relate to the headline "...websites that sell for you 24/7/365." Really that's supposed to refer to the copy and design being on-point on their site so that when traffic does arrive, they are likely to convert into leads. Not decided on this at this time.