Need brutal critique on this sales page

[FaridCopywriter]

Good day guys!

I just wrote this sales page for a weight loss supplement.

Here's the link:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/12VV ... p=drivesdk

I've turned on the comment permissions

Can anyone please leave brutal feedback on this copy.

Thank you

Farid "A beginner Copywriter" Wattoo

[Franklin]

Hi Farid,
Welcome to the forum.

I'll try not to be too brutal with my critique

Your sales page looks OK, but if I had one critique it would be that it looks the same as 1000 other pages selling the SECRET INGREDIENT TO HELP YOU MELT AWAY FAT.

Nothing unique about it to differentiate your product from everyone else selling weight loss supplements.

The herbal angle is OK, but after reading the whole page I'm not convinced the herbs are anything special.

I would include more proof about what makes it special and different from all the other herbal supplements out there.

Hope that helps.

-F

Good day guys!

I just wrote this sales page for a weight loss supplement.

Here's the link:

docs.google.com/document/d/12VVj2UuB48uVyZkTdj0fOIiIQ4ewpsyVsDvyyi4s4xI/edit?usp=drivesdk

I've turned on the comment permissions

Can anyone please leave brutal feedback on this copy.

Thank you

Farid "A beginner Copywriter" Wattoo