Congratulations on your first assignment. The first time is always exciting, and a bit scary. Will it work? Will it not work? Will I be a hero, or a zero?
Personally, I think your copy looks pretty good, Jones. Of course I don't know anything about the bodybuilding market, but I do know a bit about market awareness.
Just make sure you emphasize proof elements. Because if you're dealing with a market that is already solution aware, then they already know there are other products out there. So we need to make sure they believe yours is better than the other guys.
I see you already have a couple sections for "social proof" mapped out, and that's good. You might consider adding another one a little sooner in the copy. Just to set the mood.
Also, some type of guarantee usually makes for a good proof element. If you can't guarantee the effectiveness of the product, for legal reasons, maybe you can guarantee fast shipping or something?
Much like the word "free" gets attention, the word "guarantee" breaks through skepticism.
The only thing I didn't like, from a market awareness point of view, is the part that says...
Sadly, the Standard American Diet (SAD) lives up to its name. Nutrient-dense foods like fruits and vegetables, which provide essential vitamins and minerals, are often neglected. Instead, we find ourselves consuming excessive salt, unhealthy fats, refined sugar, and highly processed foods—all of which are lacking in vital nutrients.
The consequences of this dietary imbalance are alarming: higher rates of obesity, cardiovascular disease, type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure, and certain cancers. In our fastfood, grab-and-go culture, we've become disconnected from what truly nourishes our bodies.
Shocking studies reveal that up to 31% of Americans are likely deficient in at least one vitamin, while nearly 90% fail to meet suggested vegetable intakes and up to 80% fall short on suggested fruit intakes.
It seems like you jumped to a different market with this part.
We went from an "athlete nutrition" market to a "lifestyle change" market.
Athletes already know that the western diet of sugar, salt and fat is garbage, and that's why they avoid it.
So the section above seems a bit superfluous. It reads more like a scare tactic to get unhealthy people to change their diets, rather than a nutritional insight for trained athletes.
Personally, I would delete that part from the copy.
Anyway, that was my first thought.
I hope you'll come back and let us all know how it works after you put it out into the market.
All the best,
Steve
white belt wrote: ↑June 19th, 2023, 5:51 pm
Hello everyone here
I am Jones - Copywriting Beginner
I landed my first job and would appreciate honest feedback on my copy from experts.
1 - What specific problem does your product help your audience to solve?
My product helps solve the specific problem of performing intense workouts in the gym for bodybuilders and strength athletes.
CUSTOMER AVATAR
bodybuilders and strength athletes.
Age: 20 to 35
What are your personal goals?
He wants to achieve good conditioning during the year so he can compete in the Arnold Classic, in the Classic Physique category.
Where is your customer discovering your offer?
I believe my customer is discovering my offer through endorsed traffic, but also discovering it through targeted ads.
What is your level of customer awareness?
I believe that the customer's level of awareness is Solution Aware.
