hey can someone please look over this email sequence

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Liam720
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hey can someone please look over this email sequence

Post by Liam720 »

Hi, could someone kindly review this email sequence?

For context, I work for a company that specializes in building, marketing, scaling, systemizing, and managing digital info products for content creators and coaches. As part of my role, I reach out to YouTubers and other creators to help them enhance their digital offerings. (Some content creators already have a similar offer in place, which is still optimizable, while others may not yet have such a solution)
(below is a persona profile which i have worked out)
Below is a cold email sequence I’ve crafted, aiming to sound as authentic and relatable as possible, while addressing common pain points and offering potential solutions:


Hey {first_name},

I recently came across your YouTube channel through the video "[video name]"—amazing work!

I’m reaching out because I have an opportunity that I believe you’ll find valuable.

I’m with Exscale, a company that specializes in building, marketing, optimizing, and managing digital products for creative minds like you, who are adding immense value to the creator space.

I’d love to hop on a call with you to share more about it. Do you have some time next week?

Best regards,
Suzanne from Exscale


—-


Hey (first name),

Reeeaally sorry for reaching out again...

Were you able to receive my last email?

Let me know.

Thanks so much for your time,
Suzanne from Exscale

P.S. Sorry, I forgot to include our website in the first email: Exscale.co ;)

—-

Hi again {first_name},

I wanted to follow up on my previous email.

To be honest I don't really know your current situation but we are sure we can help you achieve your goals and overcome barriers.

You probably face problems like technical barriers, lack of time and expertise to reach Independence and grow your income and community.

I know it can be overwhelming to provide such a great value while facing all these hurdles.

Would you be open to a quick video chat?

We’d love to learn more about your situation, share our insights, and help you feel confident moving forward!

Thank you for taking the time,
Suzanne
Project Manager, Exscale
Our Website: exscale.co



—--


Hey {{first:there}},

Looks like I reached out at a bad time. Is turning your social media into a strong income stream and strengthening your audience not a priority for you right now?

If not, no worries—just let me know; our inbox is always open for you.

Take care,
Suzanne
Exscale


—--

Hey {{first:there}},

Hope you are doing well, how is it going?

Hope you don't mind but I was personally interested in what kept you from going on a short video call with us?

Was it just a matter of timing, or did you feel there wasn't a need? Or maybe it was more about skepticism?

Just curious...

Best regards,
Suzanne




Persona profile:

Goals/Motivations
Independence
Monetize Effortlessly
Scale with Ease
Increase Revenue
Personal Growth & Branding
Scaling Content Creation / Online presence
Focus on what they want to like- content creation
Provide Value

Pain Points:

Lack of Time
Technical Barriers
Stuck in Scaling/ optimizing
Lack of Expertise in Business
Limited Resources (for example not enough budget to hite a full team)
Overwhelmed and Stressed

Common Objections:

Price Sensitivity
Skepticism
Fear of Losing Control
not enough time
Fear of Being Just Another Client

Interests:

Content Creation
Entrepreneurship
Growth Strategies
Self-Improvement
Networking


Emotional Triggers:

Fear of Missing Out
Dreaming of Freedom
Impostor Syndrome / Self-Doubt
Desire for Social Proof and Validation
The Need for Control (Fear of Losing Control)
Fear of Failure
Overwhelm and Stress Relief
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SARubin
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Re: hey can someone please look over this email sequence

Post by SARubin »

Hi Liam (or Suzanne?)
Welcome to the forums...

The emails look OK except for one major issue. You need to show a bit more confidence and stop being so apologetic.

The first email looks good. You start out by complimenting them, to build rapport, and then you offer them something of value.

But...

The second email starts out by saying "Reeeaally sorry for reaching out again..."
If you're trying to help these people, and you truly believe you can help them, then why would you be sorry about it? I understand you're trying to show respect for their time, but if you have something of immense value to them they will make the time for you.

The 3rd email says "To be honest I don't really know your current situation but we are sure we can help you achieve your goals and overcome barriers."

If you don't know my situation how can you be sure you can help me achieve my goals?

Next 2 emails say "Looks like I reached out at a bad time." and "Hope you don't mind ".

I don't want to be too harsh here, and I understand that you're trying to be authentic and relatable, but these emails come across as whishy-washy and don't inspire me with much confidence in your ability to help me with my business.

So the main thing I would emphasize is this... By all means stay relatable and stay friendly, but try to show a little more confidence in your ability to help them with their business.
You're here to help these people, don't apologize for that. If they don't want your help then someone else does.

All the best,
Steve

Liam720 wrote: January 4th, 2025, 2:17 pm
Below is a cold email sequence I’ve crafted, aiming to sound as authentic and relatable as possible, while addressing common pain points and offering potential solutions:


Hey {first_name},

I recently came across your YouTube channel through the video "[video name]"—amazing work!

I’m reaching out because I have an opportunity that I believe you’ll find valuable.

I’m with Exscale, a company that specializes in building, marketing, optimizing, and managing digital products for creative minds like you, who are adding immense value to the creator space.

I’d love to hop on a call with you to share more about it. Do you have some time next week?

Best regards,
Suzanne from Exscale


—-


Hey (first name),

Reeeaally sorry for reaching out again...

Were you able to receive my last email?

Let me know.

Thanks so much for your time,
Suzanne from Exscale

P.S. Sorry, I forgot to include our website in the first email: Exscale.co ;)

—-

Hi again {first_name},

I wanted to follow up on my previous email.

To be honest I don't really know your current situation but we are sure we can help you achieve your goals and overcome barriers.

You probably face problems like technical barriers, lack of time and expertise to reach Independence and grow your income and community.

I know it can be overwhelming to provide such a great value while facing all these hurdles.

Would you be open to a quick video chat?

We’d love to learn more about your situation, share our insights, and help you feel confident moving forward!

Thank you for taking the time,
Suzanne
Project Manager, Exscale
Our Website: exscale.co



—--


Hey {{first:there}},

Looks like I reached out at a bad time. Is turning your social media into a strong income stream and strengthening your audience not a priority for you right now?

If not, no worries—just let me know; our inbox is always open for you.

Take care,
Suzanne
Exscale


—--

Hey {{first:there}},

Hope you are doing well, how is it going?

Hope you don't mind but I was personally interested in what kept you from going on a short video call with us?

Was it just a matter of timing, or did you feel there wasn't a need? Or maybe it was more about skepticism?

Just curious...

Best regards,
Suzanne



A good marketer knows how to think like a marketer - A great marketer learns how to think like the customer...
SARubin - Direct Response Copywriter / Conversion Flow Expert
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